Just because it fixes everything (that duct tape hasn't already fixed).

http://imgur.com/a/MV2KH?gallery

Remember this scene?

Well....

 

Email 1:

 

Once again we will be collecting 20.00 per person for a Christmas gift for Napoleon. Our goal this year is to purchase a Mont Blanc Ball Point Pen. Please see good guy Eddy or myself at your earliest convenience. Christmas will be here before we know it!
Thanks,
Clown Face

 

So this 20 bucks...  when you give said 20 bucks, you're allowed to also sign the card that will go with said present.  If you don't donate a 20, no signature for you.  Seems ethical, right?


Email 2:

We did great collecting for Napoleon, we ended up getting him a VHF radio, 8 ft antenna, ratchet mount for his boat. 

 

.........Think .......

 

Along with a 325.00 Visa gift card .( So he could buy any other toys he may like for his new boat.) Suggestion came from Bob rather than the pen. We will be giving this to him on Tuesday, I will get back to you on time and location. Have a great weekend.

 

 

You too Clown Face...you too.

 

The reason I want to kill myself, Reason 1...

The words below are a compilation of a very real conversation that occurred in a very real email chain to a very real engineer, or "Expert" if you've seen the last post.  

The reason for the conversation was because person A gave person B a weight report for something.  The weight report didn't include plating.  Person A neglected to include the weight for the plating because it would add a weight that's the equivalent of all but a few grains of sand.

The conversation went something like:

Robot 2,

After going through the numbers the addition of the weight due to the Nickel Plating is negligible.  By negligible, I mean it’s in the thousands of a pound.  Since the Weight Status Report is only going to the hundredth of a pound, I see no reason to update the status report.

V/R,

Logic

Logic at this point thought, PWNT!  Logic was then bombarded by several responses:

Hello Logic,

Thank you for the update. Since the calculated weights for the new units per the current report are 1.3lb for Wigitmabob and  1.70lb for thingy, would it be possible to maintain the old max weight values of 1.4lb for wigitmabob and 1.75lb for thingy?

Please confirm. We will then update the super duper important documents accordingly.

Thank you,

Voice Of Reason

Good day Logic;

Also, even if the weight is not changing, please make sure to provide an updated weight report for Dec.

It is required from a MASS stand point in order to update the overall weight status at an A/C level.

Please confirm you can provide your updated report by the end of today (17-Dec-2014).

Regards

Robot 2

(It should be noted that the end of 17-Dec-2014 is in roughly 3 hours)

Robot 2,

If the weight status remains the same, I don’t see the need to update the report, since there is no change. Robot 2, can you please confirm this? Based on the information provided by Logic, do you still need an updated report for this month?

Thanks,

Voice of Reason

Player three enters the game:

Hi Voice of Reason,

The weight is not changing but we will need an update (back to the old values) to the max weights in the report.  Also even if it does not change we need a memo stating no change monthly due on the 15^th of the month. I sent a sample memo at the beginning of the week.  It is just referencing the last updated report.

Yes we need a full updated report with the revised max weights back to the old values.

If you have any other questions let me know.

Thanks,

Robot 1

Logic has had enough:

Voice of Reason,

Raising the value was merely to add a margin of safety since the weight values for the new units are calculated values.  We all originally agreed that this margin of safety made sense, so that in the future the super duper important documents wouldn’t need to be modified if for some reason the units were over the original max weights.  For instance the original units have a margin of safety of roughly .20 lbs.  The thingy’s calculated weight being at 1.70lbs with the original max (1.75lbs) has a margin of safety .05lbs, or just under the weight of letter you’d send in the mail with a single stamp. 

If it is believed we should stay with the original max weights, I can update the values in the weight report.  Once I get feedback I’ll either update the weight report or send out a memo.

Regards,

Logic

Logic receives the following and begins to question his career choices.

Hi Logic,

Please stay with the old max values and revise the weight status report to reflect these old max values.

Thank you,

Robot 1

Life as an Engineer

Needing a baseball bat

About getting things accomplished at work

Will:  I'm trying to get all of this paper done before the end of the year.

Me:  how's that going?

Will: not very good....I've got a full life sentence in prison but I'm hopeful to get out soon.